COMiNG TO THE END.

So im at this point where im changing into a woman.
im becoming a little more mature day by day.
&& im also COMiNG TO THE END...with my mom no joke
I LOVE HER TO DEATH, but i feel like she just keeps giving
up on me.
My brothers are her world, she says, "Yur my only baby girl,
So ill always love yu....i think thats all lies.
Everyday that it gets closer to my senior year, its like she jus
idk gets annoyed with me.
So thats why after graduation im really planing on moving out like
no joke if i can make all the money my self for my apartment ima be out.
Im not in a rush to leave jus yet but they jus keep pushing me furthur out
the door. It's like dangg jus giv me my car & i'll leave. I wish we could atleast
be close again. Have a lil mother daughter time but i dont see that happening.
Yur supposed to be my bestfriend the one i can count on to be there for me,
wen im down and out for the count. Yu dont even kno wen im in my room crying b/c
yu dont come & talk. && wen i come to yu all i get is blank faces n awkward stares.
Well mom yur making me want to rush n leave yu now. Why can't we sit down n be fine.
Im jus so tired now i love yu mama & trust i will always be there for yu but im
officially fed up. Everyone always asks why im so angry but its b/c of this n its
kind of obvious. as i right this yu are doing yu, && im sitting in front of this
bright screen jus crying. Why do i have to be tough because i wanna be the person
some women couldnt be wen they were upset. I hide my emotion from the outside world.
I rather cry in the dark, & jus crawl under a rock then let yu even see me down sometimes.

Song of the Day: Boyz 2 Men "A song for Mama"

My Love; My heart; My world

The one guy who plays HARD TO GET,
his name doesnt have to be mentioned.
But he made me feel like I could love again,
He started off ruff and ragged like a rusted nail.
Some would say he was a down right asshole,
but he still was not all bad.
I just don't kno anymore is the only words
that i can think of right now for you.

& then there was the PERFECT gentleman.
he who arrives on time for everything.
The one that will wait on you HAND & FOOT.
He is the reason i keep my hope,
You may already want to take it to the
level im not ready for at age 17,
but bby yu have always respected that
I move at my own pace n NO-ONE can
tell me wad speed i should be taking.
We have spent time after time trying
to make this thing called love work & the
ONLY reason i keep holding it under water is,
because im scared that i will be risking it way
too SOON.
You have two kids and there is that age difference
but we been in it since your were 19 & bby im not looking
to let that go anytime soon.
You've help mold me into a stronger woman & i give you so many
COOL points for that babe. <3

FINALLY, there's that long lost love,
yu know the one that has your heart & keeps yur spirits
HIGH.
Yeah he knows who he is,
for over a year & a half now i've tried to get over yu & nothing
seems to be working.
I ignored yu & tried to keep my distance but i guess god wanted us to
speak once again because yu came back in my life & i dont think you plan
on leaving anytime soon.You say yu dont care but then later on yu know yur actions
SPEAK louder than your words.
Im stuck on the fact that im able to say no to you because of the one,
I now adore...but for some REASON i cant stop talking to you or thinking about you,
you have came back into my dreams sometimes i find MYSELF daydreaming about the past & i dont know if im supposed to hate yu or fall in love all over again.

PS. some may think im confused or that i dont know
wad i want but these three guys are the ones who have
been there for me through the good n the bad.
since 9/17/07-the unforgettable love
since 10/7/08-the perfect gentleman
since 1/8/09-the play hard to get guy


The Song of the Night: Faith Evans "Get Over You"!!