COMiNG TO THE END.

So im at this point where im changing into a woman.
im becoming a little more mature day by day.
&& im also COMiNG TO THE END...with my mom no joke
I LOVE HER TO DEATH, but i feel like she just keeps giving
up on me.
My brothers are her world, she says, "Yur my only baby girl,
So ill always love yu....i think thats all lies.
Everyday that it gets closer to my senior year, its like she jus
idk gets annoyed with me.
So thats why after graduation im really planing on moving out like
no joke if i can make all the money my self for my apartment ima be out.
Im not in a rush to leave jus yet but they jus keep pushing me furthur out
the door. It's like dangg jus giv me my car & i'll leave. I wish we could atleast
be close again. Have a lil mother daughter time but i dont see that happening.
Yur supposed to be my bestfriend the one i can count on to be there for me,
wen im down and out for the count. Yu dont even kno wen im in my room crying b/c
yu dont come & talk. && wen i come to yu all i get is blank faces n awkward stares.
Well mom yur making me want to rush n leave yu now. Why can't we sit down n be fine.
Im jus so tired now i love yu mama & trust i will always be there for yu but im
officially fed up. Everyone always asks why im so angry but its b/c of this n its
kind of obvious. as i right this yu are doing yu, && im sitting in front of this
bright screen jus crying. Why do i have to be tough because i wanna be the person
some women couldnt be wen they were upset. I hide my emotion from the outside world.
I rather cry in the dark, & jus crawl under a rock then let yu even see me down sometimes.

Song of the Day: Boyz 2 Men "A song for Mama"

My Love; My heart; My world

The one guy who plays HARD TO GET,
his name doesnt have to be mentioned.
But he made me feel like I could love again,
He started off ruff and ragged like a rusted nail.
Some would say he was a down right asshole,
but he still was not all bad.
I just don't kno anymore is the only words
that i can think of right now for you.

& then there was the PERFECT gentleman.
he who arrives on time for everything.
The one that will wait on you HAND & FOOT.
He is the reason i keep my hope,
You may already want to take it to the
level im not ready for at age 17,
but bby yu have always respected that
I move at my own pace n NO-ONE can
tell me wad speed i should be taking.
We have spent time after time trying
to make this thing called love work & the
ONLY reason i keep holding it under water is,
because im scared that i will be risking it way
too SOON.
You have two kids and there is that age difference
but we been in it since your were 19 & bby im not looking
to let that go anytime soon.
You've help mold me into a stronger woman & i give you so many
COOL points for that babe. <3

FINALLY, there's that long lost love,
yu know the one that has your heart & keeps yur spirits
HIGH.
Yeah he knows who he is,
for over a year & a half now i've tried to get over yu & nothing
seems to be working.
I ignored yu & tried to keep my distance but i guess god wanted us to
speak once again because yu came back in my life & i dont think you plan
on leaving anytime soon.You say yu dont care but then later on yu know yur actions
SPEAK louder than your words.
Im stuck on the fact that im able to say no to you because of the one,
I now adore...but for some REASON i cant stop talking to you or thinking about you,
you have came back into my dreams sometimes i find MYSELF daydreaming about the past & i dont know if im supposed to hate yu or fall in love all over again.

PS. some may think im confused or that i dont know
wad i want but these three guys are the ones who have
been there for me through the good n the bad.
since 9/17/07-the unforgettable love
since 10/7/08-the perfect gentleman
since 1/8/09-the play hard to get guy


The Song of the Night: Faith Evans "Get Over You"!!

Lost Friendships,Weed, & Baby's HELL even Lust!

Happiness?? Where did it Go??!!

I lost it all, the one who was there for me at all costs...
I lost my sister, my best friend, hell my 2nd muvaa!
We used to be so close but b/c of some weed & miscommunication

SHE gone, she made it seem like our bond since 6th grade wasnt even
REALLLL!!!

Weed it got real bad, telln people how i wasnt smokin up
but in reality i had a problem...
We would walk up the street everyday one summa
knock on the door & ask wur is dat humnaa!!

Smoke till we couldn remember a thangg...
I guess thats how yu here them old records sangg!

My Friend of many years goin thru rough times
Found out she was prego, && i cant even calm her nerves
Yu know we was supposed to wait 4 kids
So we could be their aunties n God Muvaa's...

She still mad so i had to cry nd hear it from a mutual friend!!!

Lust boy that can mess yur whole life up,
Smh yeah its good but do we need it so often...
that we get bored with our partna's and jus rush thru it

See i dont believe in not making love when yu do that damnn thangg
So i jus watched on the sidelines as my homegirlss bang bang!!

So there's this GUY!!!!

"WELL HE'S NO-WUN NEW!!"

We were together for a while, but we broke up for a couple of reasons, I really care about him, well I really still LOVE him.He may have messed up pretty badly but he still made me feel wonderful.I hope we can work things out because I dont know if I wanna be with anyone else.I remember when I used to feel this way about the boy I went out with for a long time when I first moved to georgia, but im over him now and loving it.Now I get to give someone else my all and show that I love them unconditionally.I keep making the biggest mistake though, Im too tough and I listen to my friends, well that over.Im not listening to them when I know that in reality that guy truely feels the same about me and he's a GOOD guy.We may work things out soon and I wont let anyone mess that up for me.If we arent ment to be then I will move on to the next guy in line. Cus im not going to beat myself up about it if I know that we gave it another shot.He made me soo happy, we played by his rules n mine.Everything was 50/50 like a normal relationship should go.AHH HE WAS MY PERFECT BOO!!!

Song of the Night:Tynisha Keli-My everything!!

*NEGLECTEDD!

Why Doo I Feel This Way??



I feel as if my family,friends, and others;Are All failing to relize I DO HAVE FEELiNGS! Its like one day everythings all GOOD at home, and the next Im like ready to leave. Im so tired of feeling this way, why cant you guys just love me and except me for who iam. And my friends OMG, we have problems like married couples at times. WHAT SENSE DOES THAT MAKE??? We should be able to solve our problems faster, if we are really friends. We fight over things like MONEY, BIRTHDAYS, CHRISTMAS, & NEW YEARS!! But if we are tryna have a good time together then we should all make a sacrifice for our friendship RIGHT!! Then there's the mate/lover/boyfriend/husband/ friend with benefits/whatever you wanna call that significant other in your life.I have those right?? But why is it that we go through most of our days fighting about, us not being in a relationship when really we act more like a couple than anything. We have more good days than bad, so why shouldnt we make "This Thing" OFFICIAL!!You act as if its a bad thing to be in a relationship, so when I do what I think is right, you get all weird on me...(You act like you care!!)If you do why cant you just tell me?? Im so tired of putting my all into someone and they dont see they have a "DARN GOOD WOMAN" in front of them.Ive shown you that,"Im here for you baby,Im willing to be your ride or die;Mann your other half boo."

Song Of The Night:Trey Songz-Neighbors Know My Name!

Memphis,Tn (TEN-A-KEY!)

OMG! HOW i LOVE & MiSS YOU SOO!

Im at a point in my life....where i think about the GOOD ol days.The days when i used to hang out with my friends after skool and go to the CANDY LADY! Boy those where the times. I miss how I was able to be truely myself. I didnt have to change soo that people wouldnt discuss;how they thought I was ghetto or country. Im a mature YOUNG woman that wants to be able to do as she pleases. I remember when I was able to say phrases like, "Bruh yu so GREEN!" and "Aye FOOL, wur yo shawty at?". Now i've had to switch it up. Im okay with the change to a certain extent.Im also thinking about how I was on my JORDAN game stronger. Im a true shoe feen, that was able to get shoes all the time. But in Georgia I swear they suck when it comes to shoes.People at school be like man I LOVE YOUR SHOES and WHEN THEY COME OUT?...Dude these shoes came out months ago or last year but i dont wear them alot. Its hilarious. Then OMG dont let me get on these people with fake shoes on they feet;EWWWWWW lls. But anywhoo I also miss my first love "Pookie" baby.My first kiss..."Bradley"=hmmm. Ohhh and i'll never forget my girls Samantha & Kavonda.I love all of my memphis memorys but I think the best time ever was when, I went out with Qua from the Bay! and my majjorette days.

I miss my home town so much!! Im a MEMPHiAN till god sends me to HEAVAN!!!
Song of the Night:Lil Wayne-Single(no ceilingz)!!

Fakers Must Go!!

It's Time 4 You All To Be Deleted!

It seems like over the past year, i've gained alot of friends, but half of yall aint real.I dont really NEED you. So it's time I delete you from my "LIFE".Im getting to old to be hangin around fakers mann. It's been 17 years, and every year i've had to drop hella people.Either they asking me of too much, or they never have my back. Im always there for my friends, in various ways. It's like people just find a way to hurt me on purpose. Im so sickk n tired of it, seriously. Then it's the same with certain guys im waiting on yu, but yu not lookin for wat im lookin for so yu waste my time and energy. Im not in the mood for no games, i've never been the one to like things like that. Some of my friends havient relized I actually remember almost everything. Like I'll pay for someone's way somewhere and they say,"Ima pay yu back" and they never do. What if I just left yu stranded with my money in my pocket. Imagine that!! B/c i'v been left there to many times by people so it's time I let out that mean and evil bxtch inside me. You people are hilarous really, its too many of yall out there that I have given money to,but I never ask yu for a favor cus yu be buggin even tho yu owe me. I rather ask my mother for the money then here yu run yur mouth. Then theres those friends that I give advice to right,and they defy wat i said and get hurt in the end, like WTF!!I take yu guys advice but I tweak b/c majority of yu have bad judgement in some situations.